my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
