i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
