hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you made out with another girl for some wings
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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