he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
