if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
