Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
