I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
