The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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