YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
