ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
