I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
