Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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