Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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