I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
