So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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