kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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