There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
