i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
