well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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