told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
