I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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