I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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