another moral hangover. fuck.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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