i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
