you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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