i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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