you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My vagina is officially offended.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
