You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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