Barsexuality is the new black.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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