its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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