Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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