I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Found your dick twin last night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
