I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
