So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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