Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
