You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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