Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
