i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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