question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
