im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
