we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
