Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
