So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
