So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
