Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
