If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
