The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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