my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
