So drunk its hurt
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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