All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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